This phrase: “Know Thyself” — it’s always around in the background, sort of reduced, to a platitude, like, “the grass is always greener” or “seize the day” — but these concepts are not just a quick way to move on from a long conversation you don’t have time for. These are deep threads that run through our collective consciousness and connect us inextricably, to each other – to ourselves.
I’m always thinking of “Know Thyself” in connection with the Laugh Think Cry project. For Andrew it’s about having great days, crafting them intentionally, and stringing them together to make a once-in-a-lifetime kind of life. And the project is about that. But for me the days are the product. Getting to know ourselves is the process that produces the product.
How will you know what kind of day you want if you don’t know yourself? And how will you know yourself unless you invest attention into doing so?
I was looking up who that phrase is attributed to — Know Thyself — and I found out it was used and spoken by many different authors. It was actually inscribed on the Temple of Apollo at Delphi as a warning to seekers of prophesy – in big gold letters, that couldn’t be missed. Apollo was the god of prophecy (I know this because my son is obsessed with Percy Jackson and the Greek myths) and people visiting his temple were often after a message from the Oracle about their future. Turns out a lot of them went insane after receiving their message (also know this from my son). They went insane because they literally could not handle the information about their future. They had not prepared themselves and their consciousness could not handle the shock of so much awareness all of the sudden.
The article (worth reading!) where I found a lot of this info mentioned the sibyls — a group of wise women who trained from childhood to deliver the messages of the Oracle at Delphi. In their room was the following inscription.
“Know Thyself and you will know the Universe and the gods.”
But how can this be? Like, if I determine that my favorite smoothie is mango-banana-orange juice and I have an obsessive nature when it comes to making art that is detrimental to my sleep, the dishes and the laundry, and that I look terrible in empire waist dresses — that means I know the Universe and the gods??
And my inner wisdom says to that: “sort of.”
Preference is fundamental to knowing yourself but it doesn’t stop there. It starts there and then goes in a loop — or a spiral. Most people can’t even really admit what they prefer and don’t prefer so this is a point of learning in itself.
Setting aside the conditioning of family and society and choosing specifically what you actually prefer, sets you on a course for all the other things — contentment, bliss, connection, all of it. Knowing your favorite kind of smoothie (and allowing that preference to change) sets you up to be in the places where those smoothies might be served. And those places will hold more things you prefer and then you can enjoy those things. If you enjoy mango-banana-orange juice but you’re constantly going to the greasy spoon and ordering hash browns cause your boyfriend loves eggs and bacon… you are not in line with your self or your life.
Beyond preference, observing the way we interact with others and the world, observing our emotions and our thought processes, observing our triggers or struggles with life in general, opens up deeper layers of “knowing” and also opens up much more space for aligned experience — “great days.”
What made you laugh this week? What made you think? What made you cry? These are catalytic questions. They are access points to YOU — who you are, your values, your worldview, your inner child. This is how you know yourself. You ask questions and you don’t judge the answer.
Any attention we direct toward this process, through meditation, journaling, candid conversation, is amplified extremely. Our attention is the currency we spend each day and whatever we direct it toward, we will see more of. But this amplification is heightened even more when we direct our attention inward with curiosity and love, more than a desire to “fix” or “improve.” Simply by shining the light of our awareness onto ourselves — our motivations, fears, hopes, we discover MUCH more than we ever expect.
I am learning this in real time. The challenge to be more open about my real life, and all the aspects of it and myself that I would rather keep hidden, has resulted in the opposite of what I expected. I haven’t felt diminished but expanded. I’ve never had so much room to move around.
If you determine that the aspects of yourself you consider “shadowy” are not wrong or bad or shameful, but rather, in need of love and attention, you start to understand why the process of knowing yourself is not big and bad and scary. It’s big and bad and scary to NOT know yourself. You’re like, bumbling around, constantly falling into holes you didn’t see. If you’re willing to turn on a flashlight, you’ll see that hole and you can erect a fence around it until you have enough love and self acceptance to fill it in.
The warning on the temple of Apollo was actually very neutral — "if you want to skip a whole bunch of days of your consciousness expanding and jump right to knowing your future, it might hurt because you are likely not ready."
Makes sense.
But we don’t think of it that way. Life IS the training ground. It IS the process. We are getting to know ourselves through the process of living each day. Those of us wanting to know more, delve deeper, get to the heart of things, are just more interested in this experience and the riches it has for us.
On the way to knowing Source, we have to know others and we can’t know others unless we know ourselves.
Once you realize you are a bundle of paradoxes, you realize the Universe is too. Because you, my dearest, ARE the Universe while you exist within it.
When Andrew first proposed this project, I thought, “okay, this sounds intriguing.” And then he brought jean shorts with a 4mm inseam, and then he brought I’m sorry and then he brought traumatic brain injury and then he brought the grim reaper! In a skit! And I realized I couldn’t just hide behind jokes and other people's words. I was gonna have to bring real things too. I was gonna have to say things out loud, WHICH IS VERY UNCOMFORTABLE FOR ME.
This Knowing Thyself is much easier to understand than to practice. The practice is all kinds of unpredictable. But it’s also the most rewarding, life-affirming and inspiring endeavor I have dared to endeavor upon. Not even being dramatic. My world continues to line up more and more with ME. I feel like I’m just starting, with baby steps and foam on the corners, to direct my attention authentically — at forty years old/young.
This is the journey within the journey — and we may endeavor if we dare.